Friday, February 27, 2004
i hate myself..i wonder why do i even exist in this world. the world will still be the same without me..other ppl's life will still go on. im sorry for all my rantings...but life have been on the downside for me lately. and tonight, especially tonight im in the thinking mood. not just tonight actually...i've been like that for the whole day. guess i should not be left alone for too long? my mind will just starts to wander. like i said my life have been on the downside...i have been disfigured, got 25% for my chem test (my lowest ever), out for the whole season...how bad can things get? i mean if things continue to worsen i think this will be my last entry already..if you know what i mean. rugby really means alot to me and missing the season is like a really big issue to me...some of you reading this may not understand how i feel and i totally don't blame you..but please understand that i will not be able to be the usual cheerful me for the next few days or perhaps anymore...so if you could bear with me. im tired..i'm going to rest for now. nights world. peace out.
dalun
dream
in this world, who doesn't have a dream? a goal they want to achieve? an ambition they want to fulfill? even at a young age, kids have dreamt of being a doctor to save lives of others. some might say a dream is a dream, it will never become reality. how many of us have make our dreams come true? is it really true that a dream can never become reality? i beg to differ. take david beckham for example, he had dreamt of playing for his favourite club manchester united since youg, and viola in the blink of an eye he has become man u's best right-mid ever. i believe if you are willing to work hard in making your dream come true, it will.
what is my dream you will ask? i myself have many dreams...many things i want to achieve before i pass on to my next life. things come and go..if you miss the chance, your dream will forever be only a dream. St Joseph's Institution had never been in my list of choice for school...i was posted there and i have no other choices due to my poor grades. the first few mths in sji was filled with bitterness..until i joined rugby. it was a sport i have never played or even watch before. but as a child who love violence, i took up the sport, not knowing how wrong i was.
after playing rugby for 3 years, i'm still so much in love with the sport, and all this years i have only come to realise that rugby is a hooligan sport played by gentlemen. this is the last year i can represent sji to clinch the championship we have been working so hard for for the past 3 years. everyone in the team dreamt of holding the cup high in the air and saying "we did it!" with pride. but for now i can only put this dream aside. i don't think i'll ever be able to play rugby again as i don't thinki can ever find a better team than the sji rugby team of 2004. like i said , "if you miss the chance, your dream will forever be only a dream" the dream of winning the championship for sji, will forever, only, be a dream for me...
dalun
operation cheeks
so my whole season is gone because of a fractured cheekbone...fuck! im gonna miss the match i've been waiting for so long...the match of the century! sa vs sji...argh!! i wanna play! but i hafta go for operation! and after that still hafta rest abt 6 mths or so...this is so crappy man...my last year to play for sji and it has gone down the drain like that...all that i've train for...after working so hard for the past few years. i guess i can't blame anyone except for myself right? fancy playing soccer before training...but why is it always me? this is so not fair...i've let my team down..i've let my family down..i've let everyone down because of one silly mistake! why didn't i go study instead?! why must the thought of playing soccer cross my pathetic mind? i shall just go and rest now...maybe i'll just die in my sleep or something..at least i wont be in pain anymore..
dalun
