Saturday, March 20, 2004
i hate myself for feeling this way
i hate myself for wanting to cry everytime i see your face
most of all i hate myself for loving you.
dalun
dreadful
waking up now is something i dread after the operation. everytime i wake up i have to go through another day of pain..guess i somehow can understand what the kidney patients are going through everytime they go for dialysis. the day passes so slowly now...its like i want to get down to work but i'm too tired to cause i have trouble falling asleep every night cause of my sleeping position. i have to sleep in a certain position so that i can prevent hurting my swollen left cheek..and this caused me to have major backaches which lasted through the whole day. on top of all that i have to ice my cheek every now and then to bring down the swelling but this again bring up another problem..my nasal passage will constrict and i have a block nose and i have to breathe through my mouth...grrr i dont know how long i can last like that! i'm tired, i want to sleep, but i cant fall asleep, next day waking up feeling tired, every part of you hurt like crazy, you're spitting out blood, blood is coming out from your ears, you have to ice your cheek 24/7...tell me? how long can you last like that? man...like what ying said..."i will survive!!" i only have myself to blame for what i'm going through...and soccer IS A DANGEROUS GAME..peace out ppl
dalun
